The Me Within Me

For I do not understand my own actions (I am baffled, bewildered). I do not practice or accomplish what I wish, but I do the very thing that I loathe (which my moral instinct condemns). – Romans 7:15 AMP

We have all been through struggles in life and a huge percentage of us are still struggling with stuffs, be it habits or just general sense of indiscipline. I like the way the Message puts it succinctly “What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise.”

Speaking plainly as a human being, there are some times in life when the world simply won’t be enough. The emptiness within overshadows whatever one must have spent a great deal of energy and faith accomplishing. At such times the only thing that will matter is how much of God’s promise/word do you have in your reservoir. Have you ever wondered why people take their own lives? Some call it depression, some say it’s mid-life crisis but regardless of the nomenclature…emptiness is emptiness.

Vanity divided by vanity is vanity, just as vanity in a billion places produces vanity. This makes me ask, why love the things of the world at the expense of more valid and cogent ideals such as family? I see a lot of “successful” people who are estranged to their own family. The issue is as real as now, as those precious moments with the family can never be bought or re-enacted but often times we allow the tides of the pursuit of (the so called) happiness or toils for money take the best of us.

I guess the struggle will continue until the day we die. As we grow, there are more responsibilities as well as decisions to make which invariably determines our destiny. We however do not have the luxury of selecting the consequences of our decisions since they come embedded in the decision itself. I have seen people, firms, government etc get swallowed up by indecision or bad decisions which gives me a grave concern over the kind of things I open the windows of my heart to.

The key to good decision is simply embarking on a faithful closer-walk with God, without which one can not succeed. The path to anything in life is covered in darkness (mostly likened to distractions, indecision, unbelief etc) and only through God’s light can one sail through. No one is perfect and no one knows it all. We all need Grace, mostly to win the first battle within one’s self.

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